Test Of Love

LOVE IN ACTION
I know a beautiful story about a couple with whom I personally became very close. Both of them were working in an Income Tax Office. It was at this place where they met for the very first time. Their relationship progressed and developed until it reached the point where both of them considered the possibility of marriage. Just three months before the wedding was to take place, the young man was in a serious accident and he became totally paralyzed. It was a terrible disappointment for the couple and everybody else that knew them. His fiancé stayed with him in the hospital. Her parents tried to persuade her not to do this. No one was, however, able to change her mind. She decided to marry him as they had originally planned. She said: “It wasn’t his body that I loved ... I love him ... I love his person”.

CALL TO LOVE
If there is no love, there is no Christianity. If we don’t abide in love, we don’t know anything about God because God is love. Love is not a quality of God. God is love. Jesus himself underscored this view when he said: ’By your love you will reveal that you are my disciples’. On the sixth Sunday of Easter, we are invited to reflect on this basic principle of Christianity. For example, the second reading (1John 4:7-10) starts with this advice: “Beloved, let us love one another, because God is love; everyone who loves is begotten by God”. Jesus repeats the same message in the Gospel: “As Father loves me, so also I love you. Remain in my love” (John 15:9-17). Therefore, Christian vocation, as St. Therese of Lisieux put it rightly, is a call to love.

LOVING AND LIKING
There is an inner urge in every human person to love and to be loved. Everyone talks about the beauty and fruit of love. In spite of all this talk and excitement about love, everyone finds it difficult to stay in love. Where is the problem? The problem lies in the fact that many of us are confused with the concepts of loving and liking. They are two different realities. Liking is the function of instincts of which we haven’t much control. It is an instinctual behavior. Anything that flows from an instinct is not premeditative. A human Instinct responds to whatever appeals to the senses. It can be looks of a person, the color of an object, the way she/he dresses, a certain manner of behavior, a particular quality of a person and so forth. We subconsciously fall in love with whatever is appealing to the senses. Very often we fall in love with people because of certain fascinations that have a quick impression on the senses. This sort of love ceases to exist as soon as these qualities disappear. Love based on liking alone is doomed to fail because the external appearances are transient.

On the other hand, love is a decision. It is an act of the will (Thomas Aquinas). Therefore even though we may not like someone, still we can choose to love him/her. In genuine love, likeability is only one aspect of many. Likeability definitely makes love easy; likeability makes a person more lovable.

One’s philosophy and vision of life can be a strong factor in loving someone. For example, what inspired Maxmillian Colby to die for a fellow prisoner was the statement of Jesus that “there is no greater love than laying down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus could lay down his life for all humanity because he accepted everyone including the prodigal son as members of his family. Even though, we may disagree with someone or do not like certain behavioral patterns of a person, still we can make a decision to love him/her. The decision to love someone helps us to look for the likeability in that person. That in turn changes our attitude towards him/her. This is the challenge Jesus places before each of his followers.

Criteria of Love
Love is an act of will. It is wishing the good of the other as other. Love is sacrificing one’s self to the extent of creating enough space in one’s self for the other. How do we know that we really love someone? What are the parameters of love? Christian love has three characteristics:
1. It is other oriented. The moment you start to think about others and their growth, you have begun to live Christian Love. If your life and activities do not bring happiness and growth to others, yours is not Christian love.
2. Christian Love is action oriented. Love is not an abstract thing. It should take on a concrete form. For example, we make available our time, talents, and treasures to the person we love. In genuine love there is always an exchange of words, an exchange of persons and an exchange of gifts. God so loved us by sending His own Son. Jesus loved us by giving His own Body and Blood. We must show our love through concrete actions.
3. Christian Love is expensive. There is no genuine love without a price or sacrifice. For example, to forgive someone who offended us or to defend somebody whom we don’t like…is really a sacrificial act. The amount of sacrifice that goes along with our concrete actions measures the real depth of our Christian Love!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor (Danish proverb)
Love your enemies, for they tell your faults (B.Franklin)
***********
A mother was telling her six year old about the Golden rule.
‘Always remember,’ she said, ‘ that we are here to help others.’
The youngster mulled this over for a minute and then asked, ‘Well, what are the others here for?’ (Christian Herald)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------